Don't Tell Cartman
by idkgirl27
Summary: Butters has got himself a date and Cartman is the only one who that's telling him to cancel but not for the reasons that Butters thinks.
1. Chapter 1

-**Wednesday **

**Butters' P.O.V.-**

"So I'll come pick you up around 8 this Friday, okay?"

"Y-yeah, that sounds… sounds like a g-good time."

"And one more thing, don't tell Cartman."

"Why… why n-not?"

"Just don't. Understood?"

I nod as he pats my head and walks away.

Just like that I had a date with Kenny.

I'm not sure why I said yes. We don't even talk all that much and I never really thought of him like that before. He just walked up to me and I figured that the polite thing to do would be to say yes.

He's hot and he's popular. I'm not sure why'd he even would want to go out with me but I guess it's a good thing.

I just wonder why he wouldn't want me to tell Eric.

Eric and I are 'sorta' best friends. I say 'sorta' because I don't think that Eric likes me all that much but we hang out all the time so that's gotta make us something, right?

The only thing that I can think of is that Kenny doesn't want Eric to know that he's asking out a guy. That doesn't make sense either though because everyone already knows that Kenny is bi.

Oh well, at least I've got a date. It's about time. I've seventeen and the only thing I've ever done is kiss a girl and that was in elementary school, back before I figured out that I was gay.

I haven't actually come out to anyone but I have a feeling that everyone already knows. Eric says that it's obvious to the world and that even a blind person could clearly see that I'm a fag. I don't like that word but Eric still calls me it.

Eric may seem a bit homophobic but he still invites me over to his house for sleepovers all the time and we usually end up sleeping in the same bed. Even I think that's a little gay.

At least someone asks to hang out with me. It's always just Eric and I. Since I don't really have any friends and no one else really gets along with Eric. He's the only one that voluntarily chooses me.

That was until Kenny asked me out today.


	2. Chapter 2

-**Wednesday**

**Cartman's P.O.V.**-

You'd think that with all of my popularity I'd be too busy having fun with all of my friends but right now I've got way more important things to do.

Like ruin Kyle's life.

I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed in myself. Seventeen fucking years in this fucking town and I've failed to convince anyone that Kyle is pure evil.

I'm not kidding. You'd think that it'd be obvious that Kyle is bad news. Just think about it. First he's a jew, second he's a daywalker, third he's form Jersey, and fourth he's gay.

I don't actually have any evidence for that last one but that's where my plan comes in. All I need is to spy on him and look for the evidence.

You can't trust that kid. Do you know the expression 'I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him'? Well that doesn't apply here. Kyle's really just a skeleton with some skin stretched across him. Did I tell you that he's manorexic? Well, he is. I don't have any proof yet but as I said I'm working on it.

For my plan I'm going to need some help from my minion.

I'm sitting at my desk and I turn my head to look at Butters. He's sitting at me bed holding Clyde Frog.

Yes, I still have Clyde Frog. You don't just get rid of your best friend just because people say that you're 'too old' to be playing with dolls.

Clyde Frog is old and is falling apart. Normally the rule is that no one, absolutely no one, touches Clyde Frog, not even my mom.

The only reason I let Butters hold him is because Butters knows perfectly well that if anything happens to my Clyde Frog, I will destroy him. Also, even though I'd never say it out loud, I actually trust Butters.

I don't know what's going on with Butters today but he's happier than usual today. The boy is already loud and obnoxious but today he's been even worse. I yelled at him earlier to 'shut the fuck up' and so far he's listened. He still has that stupid smile on his face but I guess I'll just have to let that go.

"Hey Butters, come over here."

The idiot looks up at me but doesn't get up, "Wh-what is it, Eric?"

"Get over here. I want to tell you about my new plan."

I swear that I can hear a small groan escape his lips, "And this…. his pl-plan wouldn't have anythin' to do with Kyle would it?"

What the fuck is his problem? If he keeps giving me attitude I'm going to have to teach him a lesson. But since I need him for my plan I'm going to have to play nice. "Yes, it has to do with Kyle. Why does that matter?"

Butters looks down at Clyde Frog and holds him a little tighter, "I d-don't know why you're always pl-plotting against him. He's actually a n-nice guy once you… once you get to know him."

Fuck, Kyle must have brainwashed Butters while I wasn't looking. I keep telling Butters to stay away from that no good jew but Butters is way too gullible for his own good. "Since when are you and Kyle buddies?"

I send him a glare and though he isn't looking at me I know he sensed it because I can him start to shake a little. He bites down on his lip and thinks of how to answer. He knows that it better be a good answer or else he'll regret it. "We're…. we're not b-buddies… it's just…. It just seems like a….. a w-waste of time….."

I've got him scared, that's a good thing, but now comes the next part. I have ways of making Butters do what I want. Some call it manipulation, I call it strategy. Time to make him feel guilty, "It's not a waste of time. Look at it this way, Butters. As a member of this community don't you feel an obligation to protect it? I know I do. And right now the both of us have an obligation to warn this town of the evilness that is Kyle Broflovski. Now we both know that I've spent a good majority of my life trying to expose him for the low-life that he is and I feel that all we need to finally do this is get some evidence. Now I've got a plan to get all the evidence that we'll ever need but I need you to help me. Butters, no one else, except for you, can give me the help that I need. Now if you're content doing nothing you can go on with your ways but if you want to make a difference then here is your chance. Are you in or not?"

Butters looks up to me and sighes, "I'm…. I'm in." He gets up and walks over to me, "Wh-what's the pl-plan _this t-time_?"

I decide to ignore the attitude that he slips in. "It's simple, it's brilliant, and, I promise you, it's going to work. All we're going to do is go over to Kyle's house and wait for something, anything to happen. Kind of like a stake out. I'm sure that if we wait around long enough that we'll find something useful."

Butters leans up against my desk and considers my plan, "We're… we're gonna go to his…. his house? He'll never let us through…. through the d-door…"

I position my swivel chair so that I'm facing him, "Don't worry. I've been planning this for awhile now. I've already scattered some cameras and microphones through out his house but the battery life on them isn't too good so I've been waiting for a perfect time to use them. We can hide out in the tool shed behind his house and watch everything from my laptop. We'll do it this Friday night, okay? After school we'll walk to my house and figure the rest out."

I notice Butters biting down on his lip again. He's holding something back, "Th-this Friday? Can't we… can't we do it some other d-day? I'm….I'm b-busy this Friday…."

Busy?! I try not to laugh. Since when does Butters ever have any plans? The idiot has no life, no friends. The only person he has is me and the only time he ever does anything is when I invite him. "What plans could you have?! Butters, I need **your** help!"

He hands me Clyde Frog and immediately starts wringing his wrists, "Umm…."


	3. Chapter 3

-**Wednesday**

**Butters' P.O.V.**-

I need to think fast. Usually I'd just go with the truth but remembering what Kenny had told me, I was going to have to improvise.

Eric takes Clyde Frog but his eyes remain on me, "Come on, Butters. I need you."

"But can't we… can't we do it some other t-time?"

He reaches out and takes my hand, "But Butters…." I look to him and he bats his eyes at me. He thinks that this will get me back on his side.

I'm well aware of the fact that Eric takes advantage of me, of how he can get me to change my mind and follow a plan that's bound to backfire. Eric thinks that I'm stupid and easily manipulated. Maybe that's true but most of the time I willingly do what he asks, knowing perfectly well that when everything goes wrong that I'll get all the blame. But I do it anyways, because that's what friends do for each other.

"It's just that… just that I had pl-plans this Friday…."

He squeezes my hand a little tighter, he must be desperate if he's making this much physical contact, "You know you want to help me. So why don't we just cut the crap and cancel your other plans?"

Maybe I should just cancel. Eric's my friend and he needs my help, even though it's with something stupid. If Kenny's really interested in me I'm sure he'd be willing to reschedule. But then again I always do what Eric wants…. "N-no, I pr-promised Ken-" Shit, I wasn't supposed to say that!

Eric drops my hand and I look down to the floor, too scared to look at him, "What the fuck did you promise Kenny?!"

Great, now I'm going to get yelled at. There's no point in keeping my secret. If I don't tell Eric now, then he'll only get angrier at me. "T-today at school K-ken asked me …. asked me out…"

"Like a date?!"

I peek at Eric and I can see his face turning red. He usually doesn't get too angry at me anymore. I try my best to behave myself around him but this time I screwed up. I always seem to make people angry but it's always the worst when I make Eric angry. I look down at the floor and nod.

He gets up from his chair and stands up next to me. Eric's a big guy and I'm sure he's going to hit me. I feel my body tense up but instead of hurting me he speaks up, "Don't go out with that douchebag!"

I wasn't expecting him to use his words but I guess that I shouldn't complain. I'd much rather get yelled at, then get hit. I wait for him to scream at me some more but all there is is silence. I take the opportunity, "Ken's not… not a douchebag…."

"You're such a fucking idiot!" Eric begins to shake his head, "You know he's just using you, right?!"

I can't believe Eric, of anyone uses me then it's him! "He's not… not using m-me!"

Eric walks over to his bed and sits down, "Of course he is. He probably just wants to bang you or something. Why else would he suddenly show interest in you?!"

I cross my arms over my chest and make my way over to Eric, "Well maybe…. m-maybe he's just been…. been too shy to talk to me…"

"Yeah, right. I know for a fact that Kenny would **never **be interested in someone like you, no one would. So it looks like you're stuck with me." Eric laughs and I feel like I'm about to cry.

How could Eric say something like that? When people make fun of him I comfort him, when he starts doubting himself I support him. That's what friends are supposed to do. Instead he puts me down and makes me feel like shit, then he still expects me to do every little thing he tells me to. "Y-you know wh-what, Eric?! Fuck you! All you are is… is a b-bully and you're… you're just j-jealous of me 'cause someone, besides a st-stupid frog, actually l-likes me!"

I flinch as soon as the words escape me. Now I've done it. Eric's definitely gonna hurt me now.

"Get out of my house."

I summon up enough courage to look at him. He's holding Clyde Frog in his hands and he's looking down at it.

Maybe I was too harsh? I should've thought before I opened up my stupid mouth. "Eric…"

I reach out to touch his shoulder but he moves further away from me, "Go."

I grab my backpack and head for the door. I pause at the doorway, I should apologize.

I begin to turn around but decide against it.

I only gave Eric a taste of his own medicine. He's told me way worse things than what I just said.

I make my way out of his room and quickly out of his house.

But I can't shake the feeling that I just screwed up….. again.


	4. Chapter 4

-**Thursday**

**Butters' P.O.V.**-

I probably shouldn't have told Eric all those mean things yesterday. I know he's a bit of a jerk but still he is my friend so I should treat him better, even if he doesn't return the favor.

I figure that I'll just apologize to him when he gets to school. With Eric an apology is never as simple as an 'I'm sorry'. He prefers to be begged for forgiveness. Most people would have too much pride and self-respect to degrade themselves to such levels but Eric took those things from me long ago.

I'm already at school, it hasn't started yet do I have plenty of time to get back on Eric's good side.

I make my way to his locker, he's not there yet but Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are.

Kenny…. I should probably apologize to him too since I ended up telling Eric about our 'secret' date.

Oh, hamburgers. I can't seem to do anything right. Eric's already mad at me and after I tell Kenny what happened he'll probably be mad too.

I take a deep breath and walk over to him, "Uh, Ken? Can I t-talk to you ''bout somethin'?"

Kenny looks over to me with a smile, "Hey, Butters…."

The way Kenny smiles at me makes me slightly uncomfortable but I shake the feeling off, "It's…. It's 'bout Eric…"

Kenny rolls his eyes and looks over to Stan and Kyle, "Could you guys give us some alone time?"

Stan and Kyle exchange looks and Stan leans in to whisper something to Kyle.

Kyle gives Stan a punch on his arm, "You guys are such assholes." Kyle looks at me and gives me a strange smile. The smile seems a bit….. sympathetic?

Before I can figure out what's going on, Kyle gives Stan's sleeve a few yanks before walking off motioning for Stan to follow him, "Let's go."

Stan looks back at me as if he's planning on saying something but instead stifles some laughter. He catches up with Kyle and the two leave side-by-side.

I look to Kenny, "Wh-what's up with…. with them?"

Kenny keeps his eyes on the pair, "Oh, don't worry about. There's just some unresolved sexual tension between them. It causes them to act weird around each other."

Thinking about it I could see Stan and Kyle being together. Stan broke up with Wendy a couple months back and ever since then the two have been more inseparable than ever. I smile to myself with the sudden realization that the two were made for each other.

"So you wanted to talk about the fatass?"

I cringe as my attention is brought back to Kenny.

Eric hates the f-word and so do I, but in his case the f-word is 'fat'.

"W-well, I m-meant Eric…."

"Yeah, fatass. What about him?"

I look down at the floor unsure how to tell Kenny, "W-well…. Umm…. I accidently told… told Eric that you and I…. were g-going on…. Well, you know."

Kenny laughs and I look back up, "So the lardass knows about our little date now?"

I really wish that Kenny would stop with all of his fat jokes. They're not very funny, in fact, they're just plain mean. Eric's not even fat! If Eric was here he'd probably tell Kenny off but I'm nowhere as brave so I just nod, "He… he got m-mad at me… we ended up g-getting in a…. in a f-fight…"

I feel my eyes tearing up. I'm such a Melvin. I hate when people are mad me, even though it seems to happen no matter what I do. I'm always letting people down and sometimes I wonder why I even bother.

Kenny walks over to me and I instinctively take a step back, finding myself stuck between him and the lockers. Kenny takes both my hands in his.

I know he's trying to comfort him but the thought of someone actually giving a damn about me is something that I'm just not used to.

"Don't cry, Butters. Who needs that asshole anyways?"

"But…. But he' s my… my best f-friend…"

Kenny gives my hands a little squeeze and he lowers his eyes to meet mine, "Forget about him."

I look at him for a moment before looking back down, "M-maybe we should… should cancel. I d-don't want Eric being mad at me…."

"Come on, who needs him? Do what **you **want. You want to go out with me, right?"

He leans forward so that our foreheads are touching and I know that I must be blushing like crazy.

I start considering his words, _do what you want_. What do I want? First of all, I know that I'd like it if Kenny gave me a bit more space. He's too close for comfort, his hands crushing mine and his body seems to be pressing against me harder. Despite everything that Kenny's told me, I still want to make Eric happy. But then again, why can't my happiness come first? "W-well I'll just t-tell him that you and I are… are g-gonna go on this date and that's that."

He puts his mouth to my ear and breathes slowly into it. I can feel myself tensing up. I should probably be enjoying being this close to my future date but for whatever reason I can't relax. "Good. I need to go now. I'll see you later, _babe_…"

His word choice makes me feel uneasy but then again I'm not used to being treated so nicely and no one has ever called me something as intimate as 'babe'.

He gives me a kiss on the cheek and walks off.

I don't even get a chance to register what just happened or even say good bye as Eric finally shows up.

He spots me and I take a deep breath as he arrives at his locker, "H-hey there, Eric…"

Eric gives me a quick glance and focuses his attention back on his locker, "Hi."

I start wringing my wrists, "Umm… I w-wanted to apologize for b-before…"

"Don't worry about it."

I pause for a moment to make sure that I heard him correctly, "Wh-what?"

He closes his locker and turns to me, "Look, just go on your stupid date. I don't care anymore about what you do."

He really doesn't care? For some reason it makes my heart hurt like it never has before, "You…. you d-don't care?"

"No, I don't. Do whatever the fuck you want."

I can feel tears building up and I rub my eyes to keep them away, "But…. But Eric…."

He crosses his arms over his chest, "Why are you crying? Do you want me to care?"

I nod my head and let my eyes meet his.

The look of indifference on his face falters. I don't know if it's because he's actually starting to care or if because he's starting to get annoyed. Either way his voice softens, "I'd rather you not go out with him. I'm pretty sure he's just going to use you or mess with you and then you're going to freak out but it's your choice. Just don't come crying to me when it turns out he was never actually interested."

I hiccup a bit but can feel the tears going away, "You don't have to w-worry 'bout me, Eric. I can handle myself just as…. just as long as you aren't m-mad at me."

"Well, I'm not mad and I'm definitely not worried about your fucking ass. I could care less." His words are accompanied by his usual attitude but the small blush on his face tells me differently.

Eric does care and the mere thought of that brings a smile to my face, "Aww shucks, Eric. You ain't gotta lie to me."

I give him a small punch on his arm and rest my hand there.

He uncrosses his arms but doesn't move my hand away, "I'm not lying! Just as long as you come back to me I don't care what you do!"

"Well of course I'll come back…. It's you and… you and I f-forever, right?"

I can see a small smile creep across his face but the school bell rings and wipes it off of him. He sighs as he grabs my hand off of him.

The sudden contact between our hands has me blushing; I take a step closer to him.

I start feeling nervous and I know he is too. We're standing so close to each other my hand still in his.

This closeness to him doesn't scare me or make me feel uncomfortable like how I felt with Kenny. This feels much more natural and right….

My thoughts are interrupted by his voice, "Let's get to class, Butters."

He drops my hand and I feel my heart drop a little as well, "Oh, okay…"

I follow closely behind him as we make our way to class.

I look down to his empty hands hanging at his sides. I have an urge to reach out for it again and feel the warmth of his skin on mine but I know better than to do that.

He'd just call me a fag and get mad at me again.

I wonder if he felt the same warmness I did?

Oh well, it was probably nothing. Maybe I'm getting a fever. I can't get sick now, I'd disappoint Kenny.

I cringe a little as I think about this.

Kenny.

I'm not looking forward to Friday night. Sure Kenny's nice and good-lookin' but still I'm too thrilled at the aspect of spending one-on-one time with him, especially when I could be using that time being with Eric.

But I should stop being so selfish. If Kenny likes me I should at least give him a chance and go on the date with him. Eric doesn't care where I go. So I'll just be nice and go out with Kenny.


	5. Chapter 5

-Cartman's P.O.V.-

My favorite part of the day, when I'm at school at least, is lunch and it's not for the reason Kyle says.

I swear if that Jew rat makes one more fat joke...

Fuck plotting. I'm too hungry to think of another way to rid the world of that piece of shit and anyways my best plans all require help from Butters.

Butters is really the only okay person I know. Everyone else can suck my balls, but of course if Butters interested...

But that will have to wait another day. Butters decided to waste his lunch time in class, something about extra credit.

As if he needs it.

Seriously, that little dweeb is pretty smart and gets straight A's without even trying. That's a good thing though, I can't have my sidekick being a total moron.

Kyle gets straight A's too but I'm pretty sure that the daywalker is fucking his teachers for good grades. Again I have no evidence but just give me some time.

I make my way to the cafeteria and order my lunch. Apparently there are new nation wide nutrition rules that say what I can and can't get and limits to how much I can get. I usually bring lunch from home since school lunch is unable to met **my own **nutritional needs. I'm no doctor but I know that big-boned people, like myself, need a little more than your average Joe to stay healthy. Plus I can always count on Butters to share his food but again that little dipshit ain't here so I'll just have to make due.

I find my usual table and sit down. I don't mind sitting alone, not everyone can handle the pure awesomeness that is Eric T. Cartman, and everyone here totally sucks anyways. Butters is tolerable but I guess I'm going to have to get used to not having him around.

My eyes dart over to where Kenny is sitting, surrounded by a crowd of people.

I don't see why Kenny finds it necessary to steal Butters away from me. He could have anyone he wants but he still choses to take what is **mine**, it must have something to do with him being poor as fucking dirt...

Not that I 'want' want Butters. He's just slightly better than everyone else I know, he listens to me, does everything I want him to, and can sometimes even be fun to hang out with.

But apparently I lost. Just because Kenny is Kenny and I'm me.

Can't Butters see that I'm **waaaaay **cooler than him?

I was friends with Butters way before Kenny even noticed him.

Okay. Even I can admit that we weren't exactly 'friends' but that was a long time ago.

I've changed but I guess that I'm still not good enough for him...

Wait, that sounded gay.

I'm not... **_that _**it's just...

I look up to see Kenny's eyes met mine. The smile he gives me, it pisses me off.

If I was sitting closer I'd slap it off his stupid face, I could always throw something at him but all I have is food and he'd probably like a little something extra to eat.

I look back down at my lunch.

_'Well of course, I'll come back… it's you and… you and I f-forever, right?'_

I'm pretty sure that's what Butters told me.

An involuntary sigh escapes me.

I **know **that I'm awesome and perfect but I can't stop thinking that once this date happens that Butters will forget all about me and choose that asshole.

I bury my face into my hands.

Why the fuck do I even care where Butters is and who he's with?

I hear a sound and look up to see the blonde idiot looking down at me.

"H-hey, Eric. I f-finshed up my extra cr-credit a bit early…. C-can I s-sit with you?"

Fuck. I think…. I think I'm…. smiling? I don't remember when I started smiling it must have just showed up on my face when I saw Butters.

"Yeah, sure."

Butters sits down next to me and before he says anything ekse I can hear his stomach growl.

I see a small frown appear on his face and for whatever reason find myself pushing my food towards him, "Here you can have some. I wouldn't want you fainting from lack of food or whatever…."

He looks shocked. Hell, I shocked myself with my offer. His head is tilted slightly, eyes wide open, lips parted, blushing, cute….

Wait, WHAT?!

Scratch that last thought I'm not gay…

"Are you s-sure?"

I can't fight it as my smile grows larger. Damn myself and my faggy tendencies. "Go ahead."

He takes a couple of fries and just as they met his mouth the bell rings.

Butters sighes and stuffs them in his mouth, eating them quickly. He stands up almost quicker, "Oh, hamburgers… I'm s-sorry Eric but I gotta get to class…. T-talk to you later?"

He runs off before the words can leave my lips, "Yeah."


	6. Chapter 6

_**-Thursday**_

_**Butters' P.O.V.-**_

By the time I get to my locker Eric's already there waitin' for me. It's a bit weird 'cause usually we meet up at Eric's and even then he takes a while to get there. I try to be understandin' but Eric can be a real slowpoke sometimes.

"Oh, h-hey there, Eric! I th-thought that we were meetin' at your locker like… like usual."

"Well…umm…" Eric sticks his hands in his pockets. He usually only does this when he's nervous but he doesn't have to be. Not around me.

I'm not sure what's goin' on with Eric. Maybe he's just hungry? That's usually the problem.

"Is everythin' o-okay, Eric, or are you just…. just hungry like usual?"

He narrows his eyes at me and I can't even think of a reason for him to be mad at me. It was just a question. But then again Eric's always gettin' mad at me.

"Is that supposed to be some kind of fat joke?"

My eyes widen at the accusation. Of course it wasn't! I'd never make fun of Eric for his weight problem. I don't really even think of it as a 'problem'. He's a little bigger than the rest of us but it's all in his bones and even that doesn't really matter. Eric's such a good lookin' fella. I don't see why he's so insecure. "Oh, Eric… Of course I d-didn't mean no harm. I just ain't very g-good with my words, that's all."

Eric lets out a little breath and looks to the floor, "Yeah, sure. Whatever."

Gosh, now I feel like such a jerk. I really ought to watch what I'm say. I don't like seein' Eric so sad but I know one thing that always cheers him up, "Umm… I r-really wasn't tryin' to make a j-joke earlier but we c-could still go get somethin' to eat… if you w-wanted…"

Eric finally looks back up at me and bites down on his lip. Why does he keep actin' so weird? He's never been scared to say what's on his mind before. "Actually… I was going to ask you about that…"

I ain't gonna lie I'm a bit confused, "Wh-what do you m-mean?"

"Well, I was just going to ask you if…" Eric looks back at his feet and mumbles somethin'.

I step closer to him and put my hand on his shoulder, again feelin' the heat of his body against my skin, "I d-didn't hear you, Eric."

He turns his head to the side, not really lookin' at anythin', and speaks his words really quick, "If you'd want to go get something to eat with me."

I smile a little. Eric can be real silly sometimes. "Of course, I'll g-go out with…. with you."

Eric looks up to me his face tellin' me somethin' that I can't interpret. "Is McDonald's okay?"

I nod my head and quickly put my things in my locker. I turn to him and give him another smile. Eric doesn't like sayin' it but sometimes all he needs is some reassurance and I'm pretty sure that my smile is reassurance enough that I do want to spend some time with him. I'm always happy to be by his side. "Let's g-get goin', Eric."

He mumbles somethin' else but I can't hear him very well.

"Wh-what was that?"

Eric shakes his head and smiles at me, "Oh, nothing. Come on, Butters."

He really is startin' to worry me with the way he's actin' but knowin' Eric, which I do, thank you very much, I know that he won't want to talk to me 'bout it.

What a shame. Eric should put a little more trust in me when it comes to his feelings. I'd never laugh at him or push him away. I could never do that, even if I wanted to, I'd probably break my heart. He's Eric.

We start walkin' in the direction of McDonald's and soon exit the school. Him holdin' the door for me and I scurry out.

We're walkin' side-by-side and his hands are still in his pockets, him looking straight ahead. While I keep givin' him little looks every now and then.

Silly Eric. He doesn't need to be so nervous around me.

He just doesn't.


	7. Chapter 7

**-Thursday**

**Cartman's P.O.V.-**

This doesn't make me gay, not at all, right?

Even if I was planning on asking him, he's the one who said that he'd go out with me.

I'm not even sure what I'm trying to do exactly. All I know is that if I can remind Butters of all the fun we can have together he'll realize that he really doesn't need that douchebag, Kenny.

I'm not even sure how these things work. I've never been on a date and no it isn't because that I'm repulsive (haven't I told you people not to trust a word that the Jew snake says!) but because all the girls in this town are skanks who aren't worthy of my unbridled awesomeness.

From what I hear from the guys is that if you play your cards right you're guaranteed action…..

Not that I want any action to go on between me and Butters!

No, it's…. it's better this way with only silence and space, don't want to catch any of his gayness, between us.

I look ahead and see a couple walking in our direction. At this point it's becoming clear that one of us is going to have to move so they can get by. I, of course, am not moving for these people but Butters, being the usual pussy he is, moves closer to me so that they can get by.

I roll my eyes as the couple hurries past us and ignore Butters' greetings.

"Why do you have to be so goddamn friendly to everyone?"

He tilts his head and his eyebrows furrow, "Huh?"

"I mean…." I look down at him and he seems genuinely interested in what I have to say next, he always does, "Those people they don't know you, they don't care about you, they didn't even say hi back to you or anything,"

"So?" His lips are pouted slightly before his look of semi-seriousness is replaced with his signature grin.

When he smiles he looks so goddamn stupid and everyone can't help but notice him, and I swear his smiles just make me want to….

Want to punch him, okay?!

I don't want to do anything else to or with him…..

"Stop looking at me like that!" I can feel my face heat up and I pray that Butters is too much of an idiot to notice.

He does and I can see his smile turn into a little….

Is that a fucking smirk?! Since when does that asshole smirk?! That's my thing! I guess my habits must be rubbing off on him.

"Eric…"

I look back at him and his eyes are so fucking bright and blue and that's where all my attention goes to. His hand reaches up and grabs into my sleeve and his eyes…..

Fuck.

This is so gay.

My throat goes dry amd I can barely hear my own voice. "Just… stop."

I look back down at my feet. We haven't moved since that couple walked by us and I'm still looking down when he finally speaks up. "O-okay, Eric."

Without saying another word we're both back on our way to McDonalds.

We're walking even closer now than we were before and our hands keeping bumping into each other's but it's not my fault!

Just because I'm not moving away or yelling at him for some space, just because I'm currently bright red and at the same time feel more at ease than ever before, and just because I'm currently fighting a smile and loosing, none of that means anything.

At least….

I'm pretty sure it doesn't.


	8. Chapter 8

**-Thursday**

**Butters-**

I can see the Golden Arch (**A/N: that means McDonalds!**) from where we are and Eric starts walkin' a bit faster.

Hopefully once he gets some food in him he'll start actin' like his old self.

I actually do like the way Eric is, sure he can be a real bully sometimes and he's definitely got some work to do when it comes to behavin' himself. Even though people may not think so I know Eric is a real sweet fella he just has some trouble showin' others how he really feels, that's all!

My cheeks flare up when I feel his hand against mine. We've been walking like this for a while almost touching and every time we do touch it's just….

I don't even know.

It doesn't matter .

It doesn't matter all that much anyways 'cause we're finally here and he holds the door open for me. Twice in one day!

Eric must be in a real good mood today.

We walk over to the register and before the lady can even ask Eric turns to me, "What do you want, Butters?"

I look up at the menu and I swear my heart jumps a bit when I see that the happy meal comes with a lil' Hello Kitty toy.

"Oh, C-can I just h-have a h-happy meal?"

The lady raises her brow at me. Sure I might be small for my age but I'm still seventeen and she probably thinks I'm too old for a happy meal.

"Um, sir…" The way she looks at me tells me that she isn't sure if 'sir' is the proper way of addressin' me. "You do realize that that's a kid's meal, right?"

My shoulders drop but I ain't gonna argue. "Oh, okay, miss."

"Can I just…. just g-get some ch-chicken nuggets?"

She nods and I pull out my wallet but before I can hand anything over Eric interjects himself.

Oh, yeah. I should asked Eric what he wanted since he's gonna want me to pay for it.

But instead of scoldin' me for forgettin' his order he turns to the cashier and pulls out some money, "I'll take the big mac combo and Butters will take the chicken nugget happy meal."

He narrows his eyes and the lady knows it's best not to question him. That look alone can get my legs to start shiverin' and shakin' even if it ain't meant for me.

Eric's never been one to walk away without gettin' what he wants; while I've never been one to argue anythin'. Though this is usually why I end up doin' his biddin' it can pay off at times like these.

The lady gets our food together but my spirits damper when I see her grab a transformers toy, a boy's toy, and not the cute lil' Hello Kittty.

I wanna say somethin' but she had already been thinkin' bad about me for wantin' a kid's meal and I doubt she'll be happier if I tell her which toy I really wanted.

I guess Eric could tell though but instead of teasin' me fpr my choice of playthings he clears hos throat and gets the lady's attention, "We want the other toy."

The lady raises her eyebrow and reaches for a different transformers toy but drops it when Eric shakes his head, "No, the _other _toy."

She finally understands what he's tryin' to say and opens her mouth, probably to tell us that that's a toy for little girls, but one look from Eric and her mouth snaps shut. She grabs the Hello Kitty toy and hands me the food, lookin' at me weird.

But Eric snatches the food from her hands and grabs onto my sleeve pullin' me to the other side of the restaurant.

As soon as we sit down Eric's got his food unwrapped and his burgers in front of his open mouth. He really is an eager eater and I'll probably get yelled at for interruptin' his meal but still.

"Um… Eric?"

When he hears my voice he moves the burger from his mouth and puts it down, "Yeah, Butters?"

I put my hands underneath the table and start wringin' my wrists, keepin' them out of sight so I don't annoy Eric. "I just… I just wanted to s-say th-thank you."

His eyes widen instead of getting' all narrow like I had been expectin' them to do. "Thank me for what?"

I bit down on my bottom lip and my head drops a little. I feel my face turn red and look up through my bangs. "You've just b-been r-real nice to me t-today, that's all." I go over my words and realize that they probably weren't the best. Eric's real sensitive and you've always got to be careful with what and how you tell him. "I mean…. You're always such a gr-great fella but today you've just b-been s-super great and… oh, I d-don't know…. I kn-know that I never know what to… what to s-say and you're pr-rpobably thinkin' that I sound like an idiot but I r-really am thankful for all you've done for me."

Yeah, I know that Eric's done some awfully mean things to me in the past but he's the bestest friend I've ever had and at least with him there's never a dull moment. Sure I usually end up havin' to take the blame and or worse… get grounded but with Eric I always feel so…. So **_alive_**. Even if we ain't doin' anythin' everythin' always seems so much better when I'm with Eric.

Eric's eyes drop from my gaze and focus on his food. I knew I shoulda just left him to eat but I just had to let him know how much he means to me.

Hopefully he won't be too sore at me for interruptin'.

"Oh, um, that's cool. I… I guess. Let's just eat, okay?"

I nod before realizing that he can't see me. I clear my throat and he looks up, "Okay."

I watch as he picks up his burger and bites into it.

I know that I should stop my starin' or else he'll get mad but for some reason I can't take my eyes off of him.

After a couple of bites he notices me, mid-bite with a raised brow. I'm sure I'm 'bout to get yelled at but then his lips curve into a smile and…..

Oh, hamburgers!

I can feel my stomach do some flips and my face is burnin' and now he's just starin' at me.

I must be getting' sick again….


	9. Chapter 9

**-Thursday**

**Cartman-**

Damnitt!

Why does that little gaywad keep staring at me?!

I should want to yell at him or hit him but instead I'm smiling at him?

I'm not sure what to do about this whole Butters thing so I use usual distraction.

Food.

Yeah, yeah. Go ahead with all your fat jokes I don't really give a shit right now.

I pick up his happy meal and push it towards him. He looks down at it before looking back at me, his mouth is open and all I want is for him to shut up and for whatever reason my usual means for doing the job isn't what I have in mind but…. I'm not gay.

I can't do that. I can't….

I push the thought away and let my words do the job, "Eat."

It's only one word but it's simple enough so that even this simpleton understands it.

Butters is pretty simple. At least I've always thought he was but so far he's been really complicated and has me questioning things that I was so sure about myself.

Like my feelings for Butters.

Not that I have any but….

Fuck!

I notice as he opens up the box of food that his hands are shaking and I look at his fingernails and see a blue-ish tint.

I know that Butters paints his nails sometimes. I walked in on him painting them purple once.

Yeah, it was pretty gay.

I had been thinking of ways to use this knowledge to my advantage but he begged me, actually got down on his knees, not to tell his parents.

I don't know how its possible but his parents still don't know that their one and only son is a fairy.

But then again I do spend more time with him than they do.

So I've decided to keep all his fag secrets away from them. The last thing I need is for them to find out and send him back to another anti-gay camp. I need him with me….

As my minion, that's all.

"Oh, lookie, Eric!"

I think about slapping him for his stuped language but when I see him smiling at his new toy I decide to be nice and just let it go.

I guess that the doll is kinda cute even if I have no idea what it's supposed to be. Sure I've spent a lot of time with Butters but I've always stopped listening when he starts yapping about Hello Kitty.

I'm a pretty accecpting guy (except when it comes to jews but then again they're not really people so they don't count)when it comes to Butters' gayness.

I let him sleep in my bed during sleepovers and I'll help him paint his nails and do all that other fag crap but that white cat is where I draw the line.

"Yeah, nice." His grin is growing and his eyes are even sparkling.

God, help me. I think Butters is making me….

"Hey Butters, you need to eat first."

His smile fades and his eyes dimmer. I'm not too worried though it won't take much to return him to a state of happiness that only Butters can reach.

"But, Eric! I ain't h-hungyr! Here t-take the f-food!"

He pushes the meal to me and returns to his toy.

I open the box hesitating which is weird as shit because usually I'd take the offer without thinking. "Are you sure you're not hungry? I mean, you didn't even eat anything at lunch."

That's a stupid ass thing to ask. Why in the fuck do I keep turning down free food is a much better question.

Butters seems to be thinking the same thing. "Oh, it's… it's o-okay, Eric. I r-really ain't that h-hungry."

I take a few chicken nuggets and a couple of fries and plop them onto a napkin in front of him. "Look, I don't want you to die of starvation or become like a fucking anorexic or anything. So just eat this."

His shoulders drop but he grabs a nugget and takes a small bite. As soon as he swallows the smile returns to his face. "Well, I g-guess I might be just… just a bit h-hungry."

He eats the rest of his food and takes back the rest.

I knew that the little fucker was hungry. I've got like a sixth sense when it comes to food cravings.

When he's finally finished eating I stand up to throw away the trash. I look back at him as he uses a napkin to wipe some crumbs off his face. "Come on, Butters let's get going."

He doesn't argue, I've always secretly loved that about him the fact that no matter what utter bullshit I came up with he'll always be there to listen without questioning me. "Okay, Eric."

I hold the door open for him again and I'm starting to think that I like the look of appreciation that he gives me more than the look he makes whenever I slam the door on his face.

"Hey Butters, let's go to my house."

"Uh…" I look to him as he checks the time on his watch. I can already tell by the hesitation in his voice that I won't like his answer. "I'm awful… awful s-sorry, Eric but it's g-getting' late and I'll get gr-grounded."

I roll my eyes, I don't get why Butters is always getting grounded. It always interferes with my schemes and its always over something stupid.

Seriously if you ignore all the stuff that I make him do than Butters is practically an angel.

Okay, maybe calling him an angel is kinda gay but you know what I mean!

"Oh, Eric! D-don't be m-mad or nothin'! You kn-know I'd go with…. With you if it wasn't for my p-parents!"

He's grabbing onto my arm and his eyes are pleading with me.

"I'm not mad it just gets fucking annoying, okay? But I guess I can walk to your house with you."

Butters smiles and looks up to me, his blonde hair covers his face and he does a little hair flip to reveal his blue eyes and rosy cheeks. "Okay, Eric. You can… you can w-walk me home."

My face is turning red and I'm thinking of a reason behind all this gayness that's going on in between us. "I just don't want you getting raped. Only rapists are out at this time. That's the only reason I'm going to, um, walk you home, okay?"

Butters nods and bites down on his lip.

Does he even know what he looks like when he does this?

What he's doing to me?

That little asshole probably does. He's probably trying to contaminate me with his faggyiness.

Yeah, that's it.

This isn't me, this is all him.

I'm not gay, not for anyone. Especially not for fucking Leopold 'Butters' Stotch.

However, this still doesn't explain why I didn't push him away when he locked his arm with mine.

Doesn't explain why I'm suddenly okay with him touching me.

Oh, fuck.

Fucking Leopold 'Butters' Stotch has got to me.

Damnitt.


	10. Chapter 10

**-Thursday**

**Butters-**

It's an awfully short walk from McDonalds to my house.

We're both real quiet and I've practically wrapped myself around Eric's arm.

It's so cold out here and Eric's awfully warm! I don't know how he does it…. must be 'cause he's such a big fella.

We're outside my house when I finally let go of him.

I fidget a bit before settlin' my gaze on my shoes.

I like this pair. They're red with blue shoe laces. The lace color was Eric's idea he said that blue fits me best and then he even helped me lace them up! That was a pretty good day. So is this one.

Without noticin' my wrists have already begun doin' whatever they do whenever I get nervous.

But why would I be nervous?

Like I said before it's only me and Eric we should be used to each other by now but today has been a bit weird but it's been a real good kinda weird.

I only wanted to thank him but the fact that he'll probably yell at me afterwards is probably why I'm shakin'. But….

I think it's somethin' else. My tummy's been feelin' weird this whole time. It's not a bad a feeling bit I'm never really felt like this before. My face has also been burnin' up awfully fierce this day.

I must really be gettin' sick.

"I just w-wanted to say… to s-say th-thanks, Eric." I look up to him and I can't tell what expression' he's wearin' but since he ain't yellin' I decide to continue. "I had a r-real swell time t-today."

Eric's eyes widen and his voice even cracks a little, "You… you did?" He recognizes that he ain't soundin' like his usual confident self and stands a bit straighter. "Well… of course you did. I don't half-ass anything and I'm too awesome not to have a great time with."

I can't help but giggle but when I see Eric starin' at me funny I cover my mouth real quick with both hands. He probably thinks I sounded 'faggy' or somethin'. I only hope he ain't going to get mad at me. Once I'm sure that I won't be makin' any more funny noises I lift my hands a little. "I'm… I'm s-sorry…"

Eric's voice is now barely above a whisper and I can barely make out a word he say. "That was…. kinda….cu-" He awakens from whatever spell he was under and frowns at me, "Why are you apologizing?"

I swallow a bit harshly and look down. "Well, I j-just know you can get a bit… a bit sore at me sometimes…"

"Hey," Eric touches my arm and my eyes shoot up. "You're doing pretty good considering who you are, okay? But you did have fun, right?"

I nod eagerly and begin to rock on the back of my heels, "I sure did!"

I see a smile start to show on his face and I encourage it with one of my own.

He laughs a bit, his smile growin' some more. "Well, I had fun too. Maybe… maybe we can do this again, sometimes?"

"Of course, Eric!"

I notice a few loose strands of hair on his face. I have to get up on my tip-toes to reach them but I do and I swipe them off as gentle as possible.

He grabs my hand to move it from my face but once he does neither of us let go.

It ain't a good idea, holdin' hands in front of my house with another boy.

Oh, if my parents saw this I'd definitely be…. Well, you know the rest.

But for whatever reason I really don't want to let go of his hand and he sure ain't makin' any moves to do it either.

"Butters…."

"Yeah, Eric?"

Our eyes lock and somehow my other hand has found its way into his too.

"Umm…" He licks his lips and I can't help but feel giddy but before anythin' can happen he looks down to the floor and drops my hands, "You should probably get inside. Your parents….."

My hands hurry back to my wrists and begin to do what they normally do. "You're r-right. Well, I'll s-see you l-later then. Bye, Eric."

Eric looks up to me, his eyes warmer than I've ever seen. "Yeah. Bye, Butters."

I turn and walk into my house and hurry to my room. I go to my window and watch Eric 'till he disappears into the distance.

Oh, I don't know what's goin' on with me but I can't wait to see Eric again! Then we can have another day just like this one!

But it feels like I'm forgettin' somethin'…

Oh, hamburgers.

I forgot 'bout Ken.


End file.
